Category Archives: Jen Shugert

Isabelle

Isabelle

If I have a daughter
on the day my daughter is born
I will give her a bag of rocks
and I will teach her to carry them everywhere
peacefully placing them in purse and pocket
like most women do with tampons
then I will teach her to throw them
at castles
glass ceilings
and oncoming tanks.
In that bag of rocks
my daughter
will find her strength.

I want a daughter
but on the day my daughter is born
I will give her a machete
with polished handle and burning steel
then I will cut a piece of her away.
I will let it dry up and calcify under kitchen cabinents
while the rest of her is left to scar
to heal
to harden
to hate
And holding that machete
my daughter
will find her heart.

I wish I had a daughter
to be born from giant clams
to be raised by wild wolves
fly across oceans skies
then burned at the stake
I need a daughter
to finish what I have started
I need a daughter
to save me.

When I am a mother
on the day she buries me
I want her to cut away my heart
and fill the open rot with rocks
she can carry my token instead
let it weigh her down
let it blister her fingers
may it rumble and rattle her empty core
still she treads on worn path
And deep within that grave
I will find
serenity.
And she will find
freedom.

A man like sirius black

A man like sirius black

I want a man like sirius black.

Tall, skinny and pale.

A man who is true

a man so in love with heroics

he is all too ready to suffer death fighting next to a friend.

A man to wake every morning for 10 years

to face another rigorous death eater soul sucking day

like a Guatemalan tranny hooker.

A man born to roam

And a man born to beg

 

But instead I got a muggle.

 

I want a couple of guys like the weasly twins.

Thats right! A couple!

Men more concerned with our amusement than the news.

Men who fight tyranny with humor

content with the confines of the blacklist dropouts

in order to seek sillier, more scientific pastures.

Men who understand that limitless creativity

and joy are worth more than money.

And even in the depths of our darkest days

it pays to laugh a little.

 

But instead I got a muggle

a man so ordinary

he owns the pairs of slacks!

All brown…

 

I want a guy like remis lupin.

A mild mannered man

but beneath breathes a beast!

Ravenous and blood thirsty

A man who slices through my flesh

as easily as he slices through pink panties.

Dirty and sleepless

Yet ever so the patient man.

Never to give in to the curse that claims him.

 

But instead I got a muggle!

A man to keep it down

to keep clean correctly

and water the lawn

god forbid to hear what the neighbors think!

 

I want a man like neville longbottom

the quiet one. The sensitive one.

And yet the all too eager one

irreverently rolling in rough rack retribution.

On the only woman

as crazy as his parents.

The man who gets the bloody nose

then gets the twitchy leg curse

and drops the prophecy should be a loner

but stout hearts gain an unparalleled unity.

 

But no!

Instead I got a muggle.

A man who only appreciates art when it hangs on a wall

not when it screams at you!

A man who doesnt care for a foul mouth

a bad seed or out of the ordinary.

 

I want to be hermione granger.

A filthy mudblood so obsessed with overcompensation

she often leaves love lost

for a thick textbook and warm fire.

A cat lady by calling

and a woman of worth-working

she is a fool for falling for such a feeble fitting.

 

So maybe wanting is wasteful

when we all suffer the same blight.

And I am more like hermoine than I care to admit.

So let me love my muggle

and not a dark beast, a nerd, jokesters or convicts

and let me be his strange imbalance in his ordinary world

even if he called harry a homo.

 

2 weeks notice

2 weeks notice

So I dont write poetry anymore

and its not like I stopped writing on purpose

I am just in a kind of transition.

Like going from blue to cube.

At which point inspiration recedes from fingertips

I am staring at a blank screen.

A blank page

that have magical properties

to turn themselves into lifelong tunnels of light.

Jobs, babies, master degrees, new homes

fuck…

today I would rather make cookies.

 

As of today,

I am putting in my two weeks notice.

All of a sudden 5 kids, a farm full of goats

and a fat husband to come home to

doesnt sound too bad.

So fuck you

I am retired.

 

I am old

give me domestic bliss

so what if I am a sell out

me and kobe and saul will all hop on the bandwagon together

content with our starbucks and big macs.

 

I know, I was so hardcore

with the protests and the free palestine

fuck it,

there is always some kid to do that

my socio-political movement was killed by

skinny jeans and sad music loving hipsters

eh, let them have it

I wasnt doing much with it anyways.

 

Plus, the gays are out and about now

we have a black president

we have a black president who likes spoken word!

shit, I am happy.

I know we have a bunch of wars sill raging

and explosive deficit

and schools in my state just went to shit

well…more shit

but trust me,

there is some really pissed off

angry ass teenager right now

listening to some angry punk band

like Against Me!

And I dont know who that is

because I dont listen to music anymore

but I doubt its actually political

just malcontent with suburban life

but whatever

that kid is all pissed off

smoking way to much dope

dropping out of school

and looking for something to do with his dissent

 

well kid, listen to me

listen!

Take a pen and write it all down

and when you arent writing it down

you ball your hand into a fist

and pump it as much as you can.

Read up on some che, some cesar

join the commies

become a vegan

and harass republicans as much as possible

enjoy it kid,

it wont last long

you got like 10 years of steam in you

 

mine has run dry

just puffing along on the smell of stale cigarettes

but I cleaned up what I could.

Its your mess now

heres the broom.

get to sweeping

and update your status often so I know how its going

but dont ever call me or write me

let me just run into you

at some weezer reunion tour

that I am enjoying to relive some 890′s good times

and you are at to hear some classic rock

no, I cant grab a beer with you

I have to relieve the babysitter

and finish my people magazine

leave me alone kid

I’m retired

 

Bitch in the Back

Bitch in the Back

This is for the bitch in the back

who told me last week that I was her favorite poet

and she doesnt care how many time she has heard 12 bricks

thats is just as bad ass as the first time she heard it

Bitch,

haven’t you ever had cotton candy on a rainy day?

Then maybe you would know

I am a 2 bit hacking cumulative

of a white nikki giovanni

and subdued beau sia

I am the make up of poets past

a you tube amaglm

stuck between black panther radical

turned intellectual survivalist

asian raged evolution to azn anchorman

both so in tuned with racial identity

they becomes figments of

fairy hood reality

I have stolen their angst and made it my own

and another face in the crowd

refers to me as ‘crazy white girl poet’

eh, it could be worse.

this is for the bitch in the back

who said I was as fearless as all women should be

that this raw feminism should sweep over us

like a tidal wave and we start a new

Bitch,

read more ms. magazine

then try to survive a new england class on gender identity

the shit that shaves your head

tapes down tits

bars babies from the butcher

fuck the ear piercing and circumcisions

we are a maelstrom of mutilations

today we go natural

and we go militant

a year of hard lezzy labor

leaves masturbation over conversation

and the pussy in me broke out and broke down

now I fall to me knees at a shudder of masculinity

fantasize about leaving domestic bliss

seeking sequined stripperdom.

My internal feminism

is either dead or outdated.

this is for the bitch in the back

who said she just comes to listen

bought a five dollar free hole shirt

and told me she was my biggest fan.

Bitch,

10 years ago I started writing

7 years ago I was in transition

5 , I was abused

3, I was trapped

2 I found home

1 fell in love

yesterday I retired

tired of forcing feelings that prefer forgetfulness

reading hate mail from another imbalanced artist

picking up poets

patting their backs

then paying the poetry bills

when did slam become my home life?

But I like selling you the picture, dont I?

ms. bitch in the back?

This neo feminazi

perpetually pissed off

sexually sadist

over controlling cunt.

Thanks Bitch,

you make me blossom.

If I didnt write out the crazy white girl

I might become it

And if you didnt listen

I might step this stereotype

out the door.

Torture Porn

Torture Porn

I want to get into torture porn

I have never seen one of those movies

but I am sure I dont need to

my head writes its own script in rape scenario hedony

it includes a lot of black latex

duct tape

a horse crop

and a lot of “no. please. stop.”

fuck safe words

I want to bleed

fuck handcuffs

I am into piano wire

fuck spankings

get a god damn paddle

cuz I may have never seen Saw 3

but I doubt its gonna give me any new ideas

 

I want to make snuff films

but I dont just want to pick up some whore

watch you cum on her tits

so I can meet her herpes riddled face with a bat

fuck it! dig into her after we finish her off

let me watch as you squeeze from her

the last bits of warmth

that last tall boy could afford

Let us cut the sin from her eyes

and identity from her fingertips

lay her to rest in shallow rio waters

then do it again the next day

but this time with a goat

admonishing animal abuse adultery

that achieves more hate mail

than the michael vick fan club

 

I want to be a stripper for a week

and not a nice one

an alameda stripper

covered in dollars and warm beer spittle

 

I want to be your high school english teacher

who would rather end up in prison

than deny herself another

justin beiber look a like

 

I want to be the pretty pin up

squeezed into corset confines

who will twist my hourglass in any pose

just for another flash of the bulb

 

I want to be hosed down in the garden

your sadomasochist demigod.

Your homemaking whore

 

I want to be able to pull my self over

this evolutionary fertility zone

that plagues my mind as simple

passionate lust

dirty mind tricks

philosophical fantasies

 

Because….

 

If I thought about saving the world

as much as I think about satan worshipping sex

we would be living on the moon by now

 

if I thought of how to be a better mother

as much as I think of ways

to break into your house and suspend myself from the ceiling

I would be a Teresa

 

fuck, if I actually fucked as much as I think about fucking

you would be dead from exhaustion and I would be happy

i’d also be starving, sleep deprived and broke.

 

But fuck…

it dont mean

I wont try to get us there

and it dont mean

we cant try new things

these things

all things

anything

but anal.

 

History Lesson

History Lesson

Do you remember where you were when you learned that slavery was real?

When your parents sat you down and explained to you

that the horrific dramatizations on tv

werent just sensationalism

it was our history

Do you remember when they told you there were no more indians?

Just poverty on reservations

turquoise jewelry

miniature dreamcatchers to catch the ghosts

you pass

as they hang from review mirrors

or that wars arent as heroic as they are in movies

and they told us that world war 2 was the greatest war

but do you remember when you found out that it never had to happen?

That we knew about the death camps back in 1939

we had the layout of the railroads and the locations of those death factories

and we sat back

and waited

while 8 million jews, gypies and homosexuals died.

And do you remember when you read

that when we Finally got there

we set them free

except for those with black triangles

who were treated with one way tickets to prisons and asylums.

Do you remember how upset you got?

How you cried until you choked?

The ulcers that burned through you

as you churned over those images

of children being bayoneted

and families forced off cliffs

boys with diamonds and no hands

do you remember fantasizing about time machines?

How to fix things, if only…

if only you had a shotgun to take to 1847 auction.

A bag of dynamite in Cambodia

How about 3 dozen AK47′s for Geronimo’s warriors.

Time machines would make it all so easy to fix.

But do you remember when you finally gave up on those fantasies?

When you started to make a plan

when you heard a higher calling…

and you werent sure if it was unbriddled idealism

the spirit of god

or just the guilt that you were never meant to carry.

Remember the first time you held up a fist?

When you stopped buying sugar from places in the carribean still using slave labor

refused to buy paper products from companies helping to knock down the rainforest

the day you marched in your first protest

and demanded every last soldier come home alive…

home.

Because you have done enough reading

enough crying

and enough praying

and god be damned if this is going to happen again on your watch.

This will not be my history!

Do you remember the day you first heard the name matthew shepard?

And you didnt know anything about him

other than he was gay

and he was dead.

After that,

that articles came in a fervor….

another gay teen

another Gay Teen

ANOTHER GAY TEEN

dead.

And the ulcer bursts through with the same velocity it did when you heard that slavery was real.

But this time

it was on your watch.

I remember the day I figured out that genocide doesnt end

that slavery still exists for girls

war endures

and child labor marches on

just like our history

there is no time machine

and I dont own a gun

but someone

somewhere had to say stop

remember the days

you learned to say stop.

You learned to scream it?

You wrote it on posterboards and held it up in town squares

so that even god could see

STOP!

And it didnt?

Do remember the day you realized

they were finding a woman in a dumpster almost everyday

when we marched to those big gates and screamed stop!

And it just got worse.

Now its not just women and they arent in dumpsters

its entire families and they are at the corner store

they are next door.

Do you remember when you screamed stop and nobody listened

so you just watched

and hoped

that one day

there would be time machines.